I received the below comment last night and although I believe she meant no harm, I wanted to address this as a blog post.
It would probably be best for me to think of a logical and polite way to convey my feelings, but I'm the type of person that says exactly what's on my mind...so here I go and I'm going to make this quick.
I HATE the term nappy especially when it's used in a derogatory way. In comparison to pretty biracial curls, "nappy" hair must be ugly, right?
Well let me tell you something, I have "NAPPY" hair and it's BEAUTIFUL!!
Honestly, people viewing more tightly coiled hair as ugly/not beautiful MUST stop. It disgusts me. Yeah, I know, the more European features one has, the better? NOT! This mental slavery, aftermath of slavery or colonialism, European standard of beauty, etc..is disheartening and not only does it affect those who have "nappy" hair..it also affects those who have what some would call "good" hair. Don't even get me started on facial features and skin color because I can go on for days.
Anyway.....
Having looser curls doesn't make your hair any more beautiful than those with tight curls. Having straight hair doesn't make your hair any more beautiful than those with curly hair. And having curly hair doesn't make your hair any more beautiful than those with straight hair.
Your hair is not superior or inferior to anyone's because of the texture, length, thickness, etc.
LOVE your hair, but DO NOT insult others.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. ~Psalm 139:14
Ladies: Please do not be afraid to comment because of this post. I welcome all comments, but I do not tolerate ignorance such as this. We, as black people, have been taught to hate ourselves because of hair, skin color, facial features, body structure, etc. It's time for us to erase those teachings, promote self-love and embrace who we are.
ETA: To answer your question since I accidently deleted the comment....yes, it was really an accident.
ETA: To answer your question since I accidently deleted the comment....yes, it was really an accident.
You could mix this in your deep conditioners, apply as a hot oil treatment, use it after applying leave-in conditioner, or use it to seal in moisture after moisturizing your hair.
Thank you for addressing this issue. I these comments on hair forums and blogs all over the place and I think it is insane that in 2012, with all of the information that we have at our fingertips we are still perpetuating this nonsense from hundreds of years ago. I like your response it was short, concise and I couldn't agree more...
ReplyDeleteHallelujah! Thank you for posting this. I had a related conversation recently and it blew my mind that people still buy into this good hair/bad hair bull crap!
ReplyDelete"nappy" and "good hair" instant make me mad. Thanks for sharing your views on this. I have cousins who call their hair nappy, in a negative way, and it just sets me off. I will sit there and try to explain why having nappy isn't a bad thing AT ALL. SMH
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting and sharing your views, ladies!
ReplyDeleteMy aunt once told me this: if your hair is clean, healthy,& nicely styled, you have good hair. Period. Texture, length, curl/wave patterns, etc. have NOTHING to do with good/pretty hair. I feel more & more people need to catch on that revelation. I'm so glad I did!
ReplyDeleteI love my kinky,coily hair. God made it just for me & I'm excited about it!
Amen!!
DeleteKudos to your aunt for instilling great "hair values".
Wow, what an ignorant comment! All kinds of hair are beautiful no matter what ethnicity, when it comes down to it, we all share the same ancestry somewhere along the line. Such ignorance and lack of education. Just ignore them.
ReplyDeleteI agree, all kinds of hair are beautiful. Thank you very much for your input and stopping by :-)
DeleteIt is a shame that many of our Black woman and Black little girls are being trained to hate "nappy hair" in order to fit into White Corporate America. "Nappy hair" is not considered pretty in the mainstream world. I have "nappy hair" and I was talking to another Sista with "nappy hair." We both agreed that people are less friendly to us when we wear our "nappy hair" out. However, when we wear a "pretty weave," people are more friendly. They are more polite. The more European the hairstyle looks, the better you are treated. We have to train our young girls that all hair is beautiful, but sometimes you have to conform to fit into mainstream society.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of your points. I believe it's up to us to re-establish the standard of beauty. All types of hair are beautiful and kinkier hair should never be excluded.
DeleteIsn't it sad that we have to conform?
Self-employment is the only way to give people some freedom from the pressure to conform. I love it!
DeleteThat's crazy, I was once wearing a twistout and some co-worker told me how much she liked my 'fro because it wasn't all nappy like some people's and I just looked at her like my hair is that same hair you're talking about and I just happen to have styled it a particular way and you're ignorant.
ReplyDeleteThen again she said she had good hair and didn't need perms and wore blow-outs because of her said "good hair".
Okay...some people.
Wow @ your coworker. Luckily ignorance isn't contagious.
DeleteThanks for sharing!
(((MY MOUTH IS WIDE OPEN))) No she didn't!!! We are ALL beautiful and made in the eyes of the Lord! What's up with these people! And for those who don't know THICK, FULL and ALL Healthy Hair is SEXY!! ;-)
ReplyDeletelol.
DeleteYES! Healthy hair is beautiful hair!
I don't even know why she felt the need to throw that comment in. To me apparently she feels her hair is superior to kinkier textures. I am relaxed, but I still get the same ignorant statements. I wear my hair textured most of the time in curls, braidout-fro, twist out, etc and people tell me how much more they like my straightened hair. Well, I don't care. I tell my daughter that if she walks out this house and she loves her hair and her style, then any and every one else's opinion is irrelevant. Harsh, no, that's how I feel. I relaxed my daughter two years ago, she told me she doesn't want to relax again. I'm okay with that. I told her I love her and her hair either way. I thought it would be easier, still the same work.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. I would hear the same thing. "When are you going to straighten your hair? I like your hair straight!..blah blah blah"
DeleteThat's great that your daughter has such a wonderful mother to guide her through the years. So your daughter is transitioning too?? Keep me posted on her progress!